Finding a partner is a bit of a challenge for many people. On the one hand, there are more and more opportunities to get to know many people in a short time thanks to social media channels and dating apps, but on the other hand, finding the one person you love seems to be becoming more and more difficult.
If you also want to make sure that your partner shares your Christian values , this can make the search even more complicated at first glance - or it can your choice of partner to just the people who matter!
With these tips you will know how to make your Christian partner search the best it can be!
Photo by Neal E. Johnson @neal_johnson, via Unsplash
1. Searching in the right places
Also ask yourself: Where do I even look for the right people? Where can I find potential partners? These days, there are a wide range of options thanks to the variety of ways to meet other people online.
Are you interested in dating apps and online platforms? Just be brave! Searching online has some advantages. The article “Where Christians look for great love online” from the Catholic online magazine “Kirche+Leben”, for example, sheds light on the search for a partner by Christian singles via the Internet.
You will quickly receive an overview of numerous people who are also looking. You can have a non-binding online chat. Many filter functions allow you to narrow down your search to people with similar values and ideas.
If you get along well with someone online, you can meet in real life - face to face - and see if you can connect.
If not, the new acquaintance may at least turn out to be a friend. And who knows who you will meet through this new friendship?
Of course, online platforms are not right for everyone. Maybe you don't like chat conversations or don't want to provide information on the Internet for data protection reasons? Then you don't feel compelled to use them just because they are modern.
There are numerous other ways to meet new people. Leisure activities, hobby groups, community events and local festivities are ideal to explore.
2. Ask friends for advice
Or ask your friends for help - maybe you know someone who could be a good fit for you? Also remember that not everyone is looking for the same thing on online platforms.
While you want to find your partner for life, your new acquaintance may have just come out of a long-term relationship and just wants to go on a few dates for now.
Or maybe it's the other way around?
3. Prepare with Scripture
Psalm 119: says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
As you journey through life, God gives you tools to discern where He wants to lead you. Regular encounters with God in the pages of Scripture are an excellent way to prepare yourself in ways that will bring Him glory and protect you from being deceived or making life-changing mistakes .
Reading the scriptures will change you. Ask God to plant His truth in your heart. You will never see yourself more clearly than through the lens of Scripture. So take time to study the Bible. Ask God to search your heart through this before you start dating.
Don't wait until you meet someone who catches your eye. Prepare now for a divine dating life later. This practice will sensitize you to the Lord's guidance to one day help you discern who He may want you to marry.
4. Clarify important questions in advance
Before you decide on an online platform, you should therefore clarify two questions:
- What do I hope for? If it's just new (religious) acquaintances, you might want to look for friendships.
- What do I hope for from the other person?
Establish exclusion criteria early on. Look specifically for a dating site for Christians .
Nowadays there are various online platforms specifically for religious singles . In many others you can state your religion in your profile and share how important the same faith is.
5. Be clear about your priorities and exclusion criteria
Before the first dates, determine for yourself what your exclusion criteria are. Is your partner's different faith a reason for exclusion?
Then sort out such partners from the outset (for example by conducting a targeted search on a Christian-oriented website or using profile information and search filters ). Are certain religious values, orientations and actions important to you?
For example, do you definitely want to wait until marriage to have sexual intercourse (or only with certain acts) or do you consider attending church services on Sundays to be a ritual that cannot be discussed? Then have the courage and talk openly about these things with each other.
Anything that is absolutely important to you should be addressed early on. After all, nowadays Christian singles and people of the same religion in general do not always follow the same actions or principles.
The sooner you identify differences and difficulties, the better. This will save yourself and others from disappointment. Don't make lazy compromises. Religion is something very personal and no one should tell you how to live out your religion. You decide for yourself which principles are absolutely out of the question for you.
At the same time, you should also remain honest with yourself and make compromises where you can. Hardly any other person will complete a 100-point checklist perfectly. So take a moment and think about what really matters to you.
What do you want and hope for from your partner? Which qualities are important for this? For example, do you want to find a person who will be a good parent? Then this person should be warm and caring.
Is the shared Christian education of your children important to you? Then your partner should practice your religion seriously instead of just belonging to the church on paper.
3 more tips for dating (as a Christian)
6. Know your own worth in trusting Christ
Whether you were raised by parents who celebrated all of your achievements or grew up in foster care with few accolades; It's tempting to believe that your value lies in finding someone who loves you. Every fairy tale conveys this subtle message.
But if you fall into this trap, look for a dating partner who validates your worth. Whether you expect them to celebrate you like your parents did or to give you validation that you didn't receive as a child, at some point they will let you down.
Because we are all human and do not have the ability to carry the heavy weight of being someone's source of value.
God created you to long for love and to find your worth in the one who cares for you. But this kind of love can only be found in a relationship with your Creator.
The Bible says:
See what kind of love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God…” And he showed us this great love by sending Jesus to die for our sins and to redeem us with his blood for God’s treasure become."
(See: 1 John 3:1, John 3:16, Revelation 5:9.)
The more you are committed to finding your worth in Christ's love for you, the more willing you will be to seek a partner . And when you are confident in your worth through Christ, you won't be that needy person who sucks the life out of the person you're dating in search of validation.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't date a person who compliments you and validates you. Or that you shouldn't lift others up with your words. But if you wisely trust in God's love for you, her compliments will endear her to you and bless you for all the right reasons.
7. Don’t be afraid of missing out on the “right choice.”
to let the idea of “the one”
not just religious singles who often have this worry on their minds: What if I have that one soul mate and miss him? Many religious people ask the following question:
Does God have a specific partner in mind for me?
Don't drive yourself crazy. God has endowed people with their own will so that they can make their own decisions. You won’t miss “the one” right person. Trust your feelings. Do what feels right for yourself. Recognize warning signs and acknowledge them as such.
Unfortunately, in our obsession with “the one soul mate ,” we tend to overlook important warning signs. If you notice that something doesn't suit you, you shouldn't allow yourself to be put under pressure and draw the line.
Keep an open mind. Sometimes intense romances develop from long-term friendships. Maybe you are already close to your future partner?
You see: once you know what you're really looking for and what your priorities are, finding the right person becomes much easier!
