Is my partner cheating? Are there any signs? How do I recognize this?
A little jealousy is normal in a relationship, but you should still be able to trust your partner. If you increasingly have the impression that your boyfriend or girlfriend is behaving strangely or is hiding something, it can be very stressful for you.
If your partner has already denied having an affair, but the bad gut feeling still doesn't go away, it's time to look for other signs. We show how you can recognize cheating.
You can recognize cheating by the following signs Photo by Claudia Wolff @kaimantha, via Unsplash
It's not always an affair
Before we take a closer look at the signs, it is important to mention that they do not always mean an affair. There are some behaviors by which you quickly recognize cheating , but if they only occur individually, they can also have other causes. The best way to be sure is if several of the above signs appear together.
Cheating signs
affair by these signs :
1. Hide your cell phone
Did your partner always let you use your cell phone to reply to messages or look up something while driving and is now keeping your smartphone a big secret? This can be a clear sign that he or she has something to hide.
A changed pin, turning the screen away when you want to take a look at it and similar secrecy shouldn't just be tolerated. If your partner now takes your cell phone into the bathroom and toilet and doesn't leave you alone with it for a second, that's suspicious. Especially if it wasn't like that before and seems to appear out of nowhere.
2. Deleted histories and chats
While we're not in favor of secretly searching your partner's cell phone, sometimes there's no other choice. If you don't find anything, it's often reassuring. However, if you notice that chats or histories have been deleted or find suspicious images in the “deleted images” folder, you can be suspicious.
Before you accuse your boyfriend or girlfriend of cheating, you should be sure that fraudulent messages have been sent.
Skilled cheaters save the affair under a different name, for example a male friend or family member. Unfortunately, you can quickly destroy or hide evidence on your smartphone.
3. Changed behavior in bed
Cheating can often be recognized by changes in their intimate life. It doesn't always have to be less sex - sometimes the result is more sex because a partner satisfies his guilty conscience by giving us more affection and attention. This makes the breach of trust less serious for him or her.
If sex feels unemotional and loveless, this can also be a sign of infidelity. Basically, it is always the deviations from normality that should make you suspicious.
4. Work is to blame
If your partner has recently started working overtime on a regular basis, has to go on business trips or works on weekends, this is particularly noticeable if this wasn't the case before. If he or she always came home on time and had a regular working day, sudden overtime, travel, etc. are a reason to become skeptical and take a closer look.
If you know a colleague who works for the same company, it's a good idea to ask inconspicuously. Maybe the company has a new boss or is restructuring and things are chaotic or the partner is really hiding something.
5. Fitness craze and makeover
It's normal to become more comfortable in a relationship and gain a few pounds. On average, couples gain up to 16 kilos - so that's no reason to worry. The partner's motivation to get back in shape is also not an alarm signal. Going to the gym together could even become a new shared hobby.
If your partner undergoes a complete makeover at the same time, it can be a sign that they want to impress someone. If he or she pays more attention to physical hygiene, re-equips the wardrobe, buys a new perfume and changes the hairstyle, these are warning signs that you should pay attention to.
6. Gifts and surprises
Generous gifts and surprises can be a sign of a guilty conscience. If your partner gives more gifts, brings flowers unannounced or gives very high-quality jewelry, this is a way to deal with the tormenting feelings of guilt. It makes him or her feel like the affair isn't so bad.
The same applies here: flowers or surprises are a nice gesture and do not always arise from evil ulterior motives. Anything that deviates enormously from normal or causes a strange gut feeling is a reason to examine your partner more closely.
7. Bank statements as clear evidence
If expensive restaurant visits, hotel bookings or bills for jewelry and underwear , this is solid evidence with which you can confront your partner.
If you live together and have a joint account, this is easier to check than separate accounts. If you suspect an affair, you should keep an eye on the numbers in your bank account.
Some scammers are clever and are not easy to get caught. Increased cash withdrawals can also be a reason to confront your partner. Most of the time there is a good explanation for it and you don't have to go crazy.
8. Listen to your gut feeling
If you have noticed several of the signs in your partner, confronted him or her and still not received honest answers, you have to listen to your own gut feeling. There are always people who continue to lie even when there is overwhelming evidence. Sometimes you have to accept that you won't get an honest answer.
If you constantly worry and no longer trust your partner, you cannot have a happy relationship. In this case, the best decision is to go your separate ways. Your own well-being should always come first. If you are only at the beginning of a relationship and there is already a crisis, this can be a clear reason for separation .
Our conclusion
For many people, cheating is an unforgivable breach of trust. Other couples have dealt with the betrayal together and grown stronger together. Some partners vow to get better and are caught the next time they have an affair.
It is difficult to predict how an affair will affect a relationship and what happens in the end is something everyone has to decide for themselves. It's just as okay to forgive an affair as it is to break up and go your own way.
