Monogamy – an outdated relationship model?

Many of the values ​​and views we represent are adopted relatively unconsciously from our society. This leads to many individuals from a society having similar perspectives and behaviors - which often makes interpersonal relationships easier.

The problem is that not all social values ​​and views we adopt are consistent with our character and individual ideas. This often leads to internal conflicts because we have not freely chosen certain values ​​and views. We simply adopted it without ever thinking about it.

A good example of this is our idea of ​​relationships. romantic relationships in Western culture , we automatically mean monogamous relationships. The question is, why?

More and more scientists are of the opinion that humans are not inherently monogamous and that men, as well as women, tend to be polygamous .

If you look at the evolution of humanity, monogamy as we know it now is relatively new. Contrary to popular belief, it is not widespread worldwide.

There are various cultures that do not live monogamously and seem very happy with it. In short: monogamy is not an absolute and for most people it is another socially adopted value.

For me personally, there was only one type of relationship . However, we should keep in mind that just because monogamy is the current relationship standard in Western culture does not mean that it is our nature as humans.

The fact that monogamy is not natural would explain why in Germany (similar to other countries) almost half of all marriages break up. But even if the marriages last, they are often not happy marriages and the partners cheat . Personally, I know very few couples who have been married and happy for a long time - and it doesn't just seem that way on the outside.

Yes, social demands have increased and we have more freedom than ever before. But I think that the high divorce rate can be attributed solely to the urge for self-realization, more freedom and individuality. Maybe the problem simply lies in the system in which we operate.

If half of all planes crashed, you wouldn't keep blaming the pilots, would you? But that’s more or less what we do in our relationships.

Maybe the problem doesn't lie with the individual, i.e. with us, but rather we have simply chosen the wrong relationship model.

I don't want to say that no one can be happy in a monogamous relationship. But it's quite possible that it might not be the best choice for everyone. If we considered other types of relationships, we might cheat less and stop jumping from partner to partner once we get into a routine.

It is a fact that this works. I personally know several couples who an open relationship and have been extremely happy with it for years. Although open doesn't mean that everyone can do whatever they want.

There are set rules that determine what is allowed and what is not. These rules are important, otherwise it will end in emotional chaos and mutual disappointment, as I also experienced.

This may initially offend you. But if we're already living in the most liberal and open era ever, why don't we broaden our view of our relationships?

This is a guest article by Anchu Kögl . Anchu is an author, entrepreneur and world traveler. He writes about the importance of masculinity - in sex, in dealing with women and, above all, in dealing with yourself.